Natalie at 91

“I still feel very alive!”

Natalie Kaplan is 91, and she’s finding this to be an interesting time of life.

She lives in an airy condo north of Boston that is decorated in gentle, soothing colors. Her apartment and the entire complex are so freshly maintained that it’s surprising to learn the Natalie has lived here for 30 years. For the first 17 years, she and her husband Jack enjoyed the space together. Following his death, there was no reason to go elsewhere, and Natalie decided to stay.

While the appearance of her housing has remained constant, there has been significant flux in the occupancy. Most of Natalie’s original neighbors have moved out or passed on. They have been replaced by new groups of people in their 70s, the age that Natalie and Jack were when they first moved in. Everyone is cordial, but the pace of their lives is different. They are a generation younger than Natalie, and their interests and energy levels reflect this difference.

 Natalie takes it in stride. She has enough friends and activities in the broader community that she isn’t looking for deeper connections. She is grateful for her long life and doesn’t expect younger people to interrupt theirs to accommodate her.

 In fact, Natalie has such a full schedule that she needs to be mindful to give herself a much needed break.

“I have so much to do each week that I have to remind myself to take one day off to rest.”

 

Natalie attributes much of her continued vitality to her ability to drive. She knows her limits: she now takes day-only trips within a familiar radius. Yet, her ability to get behind a wheel at her discretion sets her apart from many of her contemporaries. It’s not only that she can get herself from point A to point B. Her car keys enable her to still be engaged.

Natalie visibly shudders to imagine managing life without the freedom that driving offers.

“I’m can’t imagine being homebound. My world would become so much smaller.”

One of her favorite destinations is the Harriet and Ralph Kaplan Estates, an assisted living facility in Peabody, MA. For the past two years, she has organized a monthly lecture series bringing stimulating speakers to the facility’s residents.

Natalie is rightfully proud of the program she has initiated, particularly since she does face certain limitations.

“Essentially, I’m just a volunteer working with no budget!”

Still, she is able to create magic. Residents have been intrigued by the eclectic array of speakers, including a man who knows the ins and outs of clocks, a woman who takes on the persona of Eleanor Roosevelt, and a couple who share their experience raising a transgender child.

This past spring, Natalie received statewide acknowledgment for her work. The Kaplan’s appreciative staff nominated her for the Volunteer Excellence Award given by the Massachusetts Assisted Living Association (Mass – ALA). Although she is quick to downplay the recognition, Natalie was delighted when her name was called as the award recipient at the Mass-ALA annual event.

The greatest satisfaction, however, happens at the monthly lecture event.

“I wasn’t sure what to expect [with this program] so I’m so pleased that we attract an audience that is both interested and interesting. I love to see the big grins. They ask insightful questions and the speakers are very generous with their responses.”

 Natalie enjoys sharing memories of a childhood she describes as modest yet idyllic. Her parents enveloped Natalie and her sister with abundant love and affirmation, as they encouraged them to become confident young women.

Her grandmother, who lived on the first floor of their two-family Chelsea MA home, was an influential figure in her life.

“It was my grandmother who taught me to waltz and play canasta. I’m pretty sure that she’s the one who told me my first dirty joke! I loved our endless conversations. I asked her advice on everything. ”

Natalie has first-hand experience with the joys of grandparenting. She glows as she speaks about her two impressive grandsons.

“They are so gentle with me. I know that they love me.”

Yet, their relationship varies widely from the one that she enjoyed with her grandmother.

“It’s so different today. My grandsons aren’t asking for my opinion about things – and they shouldn’t. They know so much more than I do.”

 The advances in technology are just one example of how the generational relationship has shifted. Today, it’s often the grandparents who need to look to the youngsters to decipher the quickly changing world.

Natalie cites other contrasts between her childhood and life today.

Although she grew up during the Depression, she can barely recall the hardships that ensued.

“We never had anything before the Depression so during it, we didn’t feel particularly deprived. My family just continued to schlep along and most of my friends were schlepping too. We had a pair of black shoes and brown shoes, a skirt, a couple of shirts, and we were happy.”

 The subsequent war years extended the severe shortages of food and other necessities nationwide. Still, Natalie considers life today to be appreciably more lacking and disheartening than these earlier times.

“Back then, we didn’t have much but the country was unified. We were all together as a nation.”

 When assessing her life today, Natalie at once expresses fulfillment …

 “I’ve done all my chores. I’ve been a wife. Had my two kids. Worked throughout my life. Now I can sit back and watch what’s happening. It’s a relief.”

 and acceptance …

“Once around is enough for me! I wouldn’t want to be young again. I wouldn’t make the same mistakes maybe. I’d just make other ones.”

 and buoyancy … 

“At the same time that I feel ready, I don’t feel ‘old old’. I still feel very much alive!”