Betsy at 89: Back in the Saddle Again!

The daylight that floods into Betsy Cady’s living room highlights her ruddy cheeks and vibrant blue eyes. She has just returned from a vacation in the Azores with a group of friends. The suitcase in the hallway is the only visible clue that she’s been away. Betsy appears to lack the after-journey tiredness that so many travelers experience.

Betsy spent the first quarter of her life passionate about horseback riding. At four, she recalls seeing a sign about pony rides from the car window. She wasn’t sure what they were, but she knew she wanted to find out.

As she describes her early years in Weston, MA, you can almost envision a devoted troupe of angels hovering over Betsy to fuel her horse craze. At almost every turn, people with horses seemed to find her.

Here’s an example. In first grade, Betsy befriended a girl who had two horses. It didn’t take long before this new friend invited her to ride together.

“She always wanted us to play the Lone Ranger and Tonto. You can guess who was Tonto! But it forced me to learn to ride bareback and that was excellent training.”

When playing Tonto was no longer exciting, the devoted angels once again intervened and led her to a new riding opportunity. Betsy discovered that a classmate’s grandmother had a large ranch filled with gentle Morgan horses.

The grandmother gave an open invitation to ride to those girls with a singular passion for horses. That welcome was withdrawn, however, the day a girl arrived at the ranch wearing makeup. Lipstick was always a signal that the rider’s interest had shifted from horses to boys.

Throughout her childhood, Betsy advanced with more challenging horses. When Betsy was in her teens, she started to compete. She often took home the honors.

Betsy continued to advance with more challenging horses. She started to compete in her teens. She often took home the honors.

In 1942, however, Betsy’s enviable childhood ended. When she was 13, her older brother – and favorite sibling – was killed in a biking accident. It was a loss that hit the family hard. Betsy’s mom died eight years later from cancer, a disease that Betsy believes was triggered by this tragedy.

As a high school senior, Betsy announced that since her sole aspiration was to ride, she had no use for a college education. Her mother said otherwise, and Betsy was not one to challenge her mother.

This time the hovering angels took the form of a guidance counselor who suggested that Sweet Briar College in Virginia could be a match. This women’s college offered glorious riding and a stunning landscape. Betsy was delighted when her application was accepted.

During her first semester, she encountered a hiccup.

“To my horror, I discovered that freshmen were not allowed to ride for the first half of the year. And, once they could ride, it cost $40 a month.”

Betsy was determined to find a way to cover the fees.

“When I found out that I could make $40 a week waiting tables, I worked in the dining room and rode everyday for the next 3½ years.”

When she graduated college, her father suggested that they travel to Europe. Her mother had died the year before, and the trip would enable them to have needed time together. The journey included Helsinki just as it hosted the 1952 Olympics. Betsy was on board, happily seated in the stadium to watch the world class riding competition.

What had been envisioned as a two-week vacation extended five months.

“The trip changed my life. It opened my eyes to how varied the world was. I was no longer interested in settling into a world I already knew.”

Betsy returned to Boston to find employment and to attend Simmons College School of Social Work. Eventually she met someone special and, in 1960, they married.

Betsy approached marriage and motherhood with the same intensity she once devoted to horseback riding.

“I was fully ready to be a wife and mother.”

She loved staying home with her three children. And for 40 years, Betsy completely stopped horseback riding.

“I didn’t even miss it. For me, riding was all encompassing. That was just not possible while I was raising my children.”

The 1960s and 1970s were filled with many satisfying family times. Her husband’s work provided extensive travel opportunities and Betsy accompanied him to Russia, India, China, and Africa.

The marriage eventually collapsed. Betsy discovered that her husband had relationships with other women. They divorced in 2001.

“I was so naïve. I missed the clues. I was really thrown for a loop.”

Betsy was devastated by the shock. She immediately claimed ownership of their newly-acquired, bucolic home in Westport MA.

As a way to start anew, Betsy undertook a major renovation of the house. Not only was the new look more to her liking, she rediscovered her sense of competence. The process was wonderfully empowering.

One of Westport’s most alluring feature was its terrain. It was a horseback rider’s dream and Betsy, in her late 70s, slowly returned to riding.

In 2015, Betsy decided to sell her home and move to a senior community in the Boston area. On moving day, as she drove to her new home, she pulled off the highway to call Jane, a local Sweet Briar classmate who was also a passionate rider.

The women had not been in touch for some time and Betsy wasn’t even sure what compelled her to make the call. Perhaps it was the return of her ‘horseback riding angels’!

Betsy mentioned that she was slowly reviving her interest in riding. Jane recommended that Betsy call Dave Thind, a dressage trainer whose farm in Walpole was a mere 40 miles from Betsy’s new residence.

Betsy was fascinated. She had never imagined that she would actually return to serious riding at age 86. But Jane’s information was too intriguing to pass up.

The past three years have been a wonderful gift. Betsy has returned to riding twice each week.

Recently, she challenged herself to do a Century Ride, which was a dressage event that requires the combined age of the horse and the rider to total at least 100. Betsy qualified. Gala, her horse, was 11 and she was 89.

“Dressage is essentially riding a horse that has been trained to dance. It’s all very magical. You are so in tune that the horse knows exactly where and when to move simply by the slightest signal.”

Betsy scheduled the event for Christmas week so that her relatives from Florida could attend. They arrived with a bouquet of flowers to properly congratulate Betsy at the completion of her feat.

Her trainer took other steps to thoughtfully embellish the experience. He asked a riding supplies store to loan Betsy the proper attire: tall boots, lovely white britches, and a flattering black coat.

Gala, her horse, was also fully adorned. Her mane was braided.

It was an extraordinary experience, though the details are somewhat hazy. Betsy had turned her full concentration on carefully guiding the horse through all the maneuvers. She excelled. The judge gave her high marks and her proud family gave her roses.

The afterglow was long lasting.

“I was awake half the night just grinning from ear to ear!”

The event got Betsy’s competitive juices going. She aims to enter more dressage contests.

Betsy has found that her early bareback riding laid the foundation for her current degree of comfort and poise.

“I’m really confident in my balance. That’s something that would be hard to acquire at this time in life.”

In other words, she does not recommend this for everyone who is 89.

The horseback riding industry is eager to feature Betsy and Gala in a national dressage magazine. She has never been an attention seeker, but she would be pleased to give her trainer the recognition, while encouraging others with a similar background to bring horses back into their lives.

Does returning to horseback riding change her self- perception?

“I’m not sure that I feel younger, but I sure don’t feel older. I feel frozen in time.”

Does it alter her life perspective?

I’ve decided that I will ‘live today for today’ and I’ll live ‘tomorrow for tomorrow.’ I guess you could say I’m in denial.”

Denial??? Actually, this sounds like Betsy now embraces the art of living life fully. Ride on!